It's Kristen, and I am just going to come right out and say it. I was bad today. Really bad. The kind of bad where I knew exactly what I was doing the whole time and did it anyway, with a smile on my face.
It started this morning. I was told, very clearly, to behave. To be good. To keep my hands to myself and my thoughts clean. And for about an hour, I tried. I really did. But then I got bored, and then I got restless, and then I got this wicked little idea, and well. You know how it goes with me.
By lunch I had broken every rule. I was touching myself under the table during class, thinking about you, getting wetter and wetter while trying to keep a straight face. I sent a teasing text I absolutely should not have sent. I did the thing I was specifically told not to do, twice, because the first time felt so good I could not resist doing it again.
And now here I am, confessing it all, because here is my secret: I do not actually feel guilty. I feel excited. That fluttery, stomach dropping feeling of knowing I am in trouble and it is entirely my own fault. There is nothing like it. The anticipation of punishment might be my favorite feeling in the world.
So here is what I need from you. Do not let me off easy. I do not want a lecture, I want consequences. Bend me over. Use your hand, use a paddle, use whatever you want. Make it sting enough that I remember it tomorrow when I sit down. Make me count, make me apologize, make me promise I will never do it again, and then watch me struggle not to smile because we both know I will.
I want to be held accountable. Is that strange? I think some girls just need a firm hand to keep them in line, and I am definitely that kind of girl. Left to my own devices I am chaos. A brat with no supervision. But with the right person keeping me in check... I am the best girl in the world. The threat of punishment makes me behave. The punishment itself makes me melt.
After you have dealt with me, I will be so sweet. All apologies and soft kisses and clinging to you like I never want to let go. That is when you will see the real Kristen, the one underneath all the mischief. She only comes out after she has been properly handled.
If punishment is your thing, I am ready to take what I deserve. Call and ask for Kristen, and do not go easy on me. I have earned every bit of it. And if you want to set some ground rules first, I respond very well to discipline, or at least I do until I decide to break the rules again.
Call the dispatcher and ask for Kristen. I was bad, and I am not even sorry. Yet.
xoxo, Kristen