It's Kristen. Everyone thinks I am such a good girl. My professors love me. My parents brag about me. I smile sweetly, I say please and thank you, I do everything right. And it is all true, mostly. But nobody knows what I am like when the door closes and the phone is in my hand.
That is my favorite thing about me, honestly. The contrast. Sunday morning I am the girl who brings coffee to study group and helps everyone with their notes. Sunday night I am on my knees, flushed and breathless, begging for more. Same girl. Two completely different animals. And I love keeping the second one secret.
It started small, the way these things always do. A thought I should not have had during a boring lecture. A late night alone in my dorm room that went further than I planned. A website I definitely was not supposed to find. Each time I told myself that was enough, I had gotten it out of my system. Each time I was lying.
Now I have stopped pretending. The good girl is real, but so is the bad one, and the bad one has been running the show more and more lately. She is the one who bought the lingerie I hide in the back of my drawer. She is the one who thinks about you during class, squeezing my thighs together under the desk, trying not to smile. She is the one writing this right now.
Here is what I want tonight. I want to start sweet. I will be shy at first, giggling, acting like I am not sure I should be doing this. And then something shifts. My voice gets lower. My breathing gets heavier. The good girl slips away and the real me comes out, the one who knows exactly what she wants and is not afraid to beg for it.
I love the moment you realize it. When you hear the change happen and you go, oh, there she is. There is the bad girl I knew was hiding in there. And then you take full advantage, because why would you not? You found the secret. You get the reward.
They say good girls go bad, but I think I was always a little bad. I was just waiting for someone worth being bad for. If you want to meet the side of me nobody else gets to see, my good girl gone bad is ready when you are. And if you really want to corrupt me properly, I have a cheerleader uniform that would shock everyone who thinks they know me.
Call the dispatcher and ask for Kristen. The good girl will answer. The bad one will take over.
xoxo, Kristen