It's Kristen. I have been thinking a lot about rules lately. Not the boring kind, not traffic laws or term paper deadlines. The other kind. The kind where someone I trust lays down the law and I follow it to the letter, because the structure makes me feel safe and the obedience makes me feel wild.
I think I need rules more than most girls. Without them I am scattered, impulsive, getting into trouble just to feel something. But give me a set of rules, give me someone to enforce them, and I become focused. Devoted. Every instruction becomes the most important thing in my world, and following it perfectly becomes my favorite game.
Here is how I want it to work. You set the rules before we start. Maybe I am not allowed to touch myself until you say so. Maybe I have to ask permission for everything. Maybe there are certain words I have to say, certain positions I have to hold, a certain way I have to address you. Sir seems right. Yes, Sir. Of course, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir. Just saying it makes my knees weak.
Then we begin, and I try so hard to be perfect. I follow every rule exactly. I am focused, I am obedient, I am the best disciplined girl you have ever had. And it is thrilling, because every moment I am one slip away from consequences, and that edge keeps me razor sharp and soaking wet at the same time.
But let us be honest. At some point, I am going to break one. Maybe accidentally, maybe on purpose, maybe I just cannot help myself when you tell me not to move and then do something that makes staying still impossible. And when it happens, I will freeze, because I know what comes next. Rules are rules, after all. There have to be consequences, or the rules do not mean anything.
That is the beautiful cycle of it. The rules, the obedience, the slip, the correction, and then back to the rules with me trying even harder this time. Each round takes me deeper. Each consequence strips away a little more of my resistance until there is nothing left but a girl who exists to please you.
By the end I am yours in a way that goes beyond the physical. You have shaped me, trained me, made me better. I will thank you for it, sincerely, while I am still catching my breath. Thank you for the rules, Sir. Thank you for keeping me in line. I needed it more than you know.
If discipline speaks to you, call and ask for Kristen. I am ready for your rules, Sir. All of them. And if I slip up along the way, well, I trust you will know exactly what to do about my punishment.
Call the dispatcher and ask for Kristen. Rules are rules.
xoxo, Kristen