It's Kristen! Okay, so I did something a little silly this week. I ordered a cheerleader uniform online. The real kind, with the pleated skirt and the little top with my name across it. It came yesterday and I put it on immediately, and let me tell you, I have never felt cuter or more dangerous in my life.
I was never a cheerleader in school. I was the girl in the stands watching them, kind of jealous, kind of fascinated. There was something about the way they owned everyone's attention without even trying. The hair, the smile, the little skirt flipping when they jumped. I wanted that confidence so badly.
Well, now I have the uniform, and I have been practicing. Not the actual cheers, obviously. My kind of routine. Picture this. I am standing in my bedroom, pom poms in my hands, and I do a slow spin so the skirt flares out. Then I bend forward, hands on my knees, and look back at you over my shoulder with this big innocent smile. Give me a C, I say. Give me an O. Give me an M. Give me an E. What does that spell? Come here.
I get so giggly doing it, which only makes it hotter, I think. There is something about being playful and sexy at the same time that just melts me. I am bouncing around, the skirt is flying, and then I get tired and flop down on the bed, breathing hard, cheeks flushed, and suddenly the energy changes. The cute cheerleader gets this look in my eyes like I know exactly what I want next.
That is my favorite part, honestly. The switch. One minute I am all rah rah, all peppy and sweet, and the next minute I am on my knees looking up at you, still in the uniform, asking what my prize is for such a good routine. Because good cheerleaders deserve a reward, do they not?
I have been told I do a very convincing cheerleader, and I would love the chance to prove it to you. We can do the whole thing. The routine, the teasing, the slow shift from sweet to very, very not sweet. I will even let you pick the cheer, as long as you promise to make it worth my while.
And if you like your girls a little bratty and a little bendy, you might also enjoy my pigtails look. Same energy, twice the trouble.
Call the dispatcher and ask for Kristen. I will grab my pom poms.
xoxo, Kristen