Music changes the way I move, and tonight I am moving for you. I put on something slow and low, the kind of song that makes my hips find their own rhythm, and I stand in the middle of my bedroom and dance like no one is watching. Except you are listening, and that is better.
I start with my eyes closed. I let the music tell my body what to do, and I tell you everything. The sway of my hips. The way my hands travel up my own sides, over the silk of my dress, feeling every curve the way I wish your hands would. I am your private dancer tonight, and the stage is my bedroom floor.
I kick off my heels, one at a time, and you hear them hit the floor. Now I am barefoot, and I can feel the cool wood under my feet while the rest of me is getting warmer by the minute. I spin slowly, and my skirt flares out, and I laugh a little because I know exactly what you are picturing.
Here is my favorite part. I dance closer to the phone, so close you can hear my breathing change with the music. I run my hands through my hair and let it fall loose. I trace one finger down my own throat, between my breasts, and I describe it all to you in a voice that is getting softer and slower with every verse.
Dancing makes me feel beautiful in a way nothing else does. It reminds me that my body is an instrument, and right now I am playing it for an audience of one. You. Every roll of my hips is for you. Every time I bite my lip, it is because I am thinking about what you would do if you were here watching.
The best dancers know that stillness is part of the dance. So I stop, right in the middle of the song, and I stand perfectly still with my eyes closed, and I let you hear nothing but my breathing. That silence is deliberate. I am letting you ache for the next movement.
The song is building now, and so am I. I move faster, my breathing gets deeper, and I stop describing and start feeling. If you want to hear how this dance ends, you know what to do. Call the dispatcher and ask for Ella. I will keep dancing until you do, and then I will dance for no one but you.
Yours, Ella