I have a confession, and I can only make it to you. Everyone thinks I am the blushing bride today, all white lace and trembling smiles and happy tears. They have no idea what is happening underneath this gown.
I woke up this morning in the bridal suite, and the first thing I did was touch myself. I could not help it. All this talk of wedding nights and honeymoons has had me aching for days, and I needed relief before I walked down that aisle pretending to be innocent.
The dress is beautiful, I will give them that. Layers of tulle and a corset laced so tight I can barely breathe, which only makes everything feel more intense. Every time I move, the fabric whispers against my skin, and I am reminded that beneath all this purity I am completely bare in the places that count.
I keep thinking about you while the photographer poses me. I smile for the camera, and in my head I am hearing your voice on the phone last night, telling me what you would do if you could get me alone in this dress. I have been wet since breakfast. The blush on my cheeks is real, just not for the reasons they think.
There is something about being a blushing bride that makes me want to misbehave. Maybe it is all the eyes on me, all that attention, knowing I have a secret no one can see. I am the good girl in white, and I am also the woman who will describe to you exactly how she touches herself in the limo between the ceremony and the reception.
Tonight, after the last dance, I will slip away to a quiet room with my phone. The dress will be half undone, my hair coming loose, and I will be waiting for your call. You will ask the dispatcher for Ella, and I will answer still in my gown, still blushing, ready to tell you everything I did today and everything I am about to do.
I keep the garter, by the way. It is white satin with a blue ribbon, and it is staying on all night no matter what else comes off. I like knowing it is there, a secret against my thigh, while I do very unbridelike things on the phone with you.
Do not make the bride wait too long. I have been good all day, and I am done being good.
Yours, Ella